Life - Review

Science Fiction meets horror is not a new concept. The idea that aliens exist in space and upon meeting humanity decides it’s time for us to die is pretty standard. The creativity in this type of story can be found in the particular methods used by the alien(s) or space explorers. What makes this alien take over attempt different and therefore worth watching? Let’s dive in and see with “Life” in this box office review…

An international space station crew is preparing to capture a pod that is traveling back from Mars. They catch the pod, as we have seen in the movie previews, and begin studying a single cell life form that seems to be growing at an alarming rate. Things go awry for the crew and it becomes a battle for survival. This is the basic premise or plot of this particular movie.

Overall, I wasn’t impressed with the film. It starts with a scene that is completely unnecessary to anything in the story and then jumps right into the characters on the space station. I did appreciate how the story wasted no time in getting to the conflict of the movie which is the alien life form. Almost immediately we see that the alien is becoming aware and dangerous and the tension builds from there. Unfortunately, the overall pacing is very unbalanced. At times my heart rate was up and then it grinds to a halt and seems to linger in these slower moments before racing back to tension again. It was stop and go and that was annoying for me, personally.

The acting in this film was all done well. The talented cast played their specific roles to a believable level and took what was a subpar movie and made it adequate at best. Thankfully we have the cast that we did otherwise this movie would’ve been one big snooze fest. The fear, the happiness, the pride, the sadness are all emotions delivered on screen by each character and it gave me a connection to each one of them before they are killed. Once they’re killed the camera lingers a bit long on a corpse. I speculate this was done to create a sense of loss and heightened tension. Quite the opposite effect for me, it came across as wasted screen time in what was an energized and engaging scene.

“Life” is in theaters now! I don’t recommend you see this on the big screen. There’s nothing spectacular about this film that warrants your hard earn dollars being spent on ticket prices and concession. It’s a mediocre movie at best and the ending was edited so oddly that it confused me instead of surprised me. I believe the ending was designed to surprise us, and maybe for some it did, but I was confused. When I replayed the scenes in my mind I didn’t get how that ending transpired. It’s worth $1 at Redbox once it’s available and even then you have to enjoy science fiction meets horror films to care.

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Morgan - Box Office Review

The box office is filled with sequels or reboots and I hear often how people want new concepts or stories on screen. Well, when these movies come out it’s exciting because we’ll be treated to something that we can’t precisely figure out from the trailers. So let’s dive in and take a look at my thoughts of “Morgan” in this box office review…

I was excited about this film from the first time I saw the first trailer. I sat in the theater after the trailer ended and could only look forward to something that felt original, terrifying and well acted. The cast in this film was an immediate selling point and I’d recommend following the link to the IMDB page at the end of this review to see all the talented actors. Unfortunately, this film failed to live up to my expectations and according to Rotten Tomatoes I’m not alone in my feelings. This film has a audience score of 35% and the Tomatometer is Rotten 40%. This film was a disappointment.

The short-comings weren’t actor based and they weren’t special effects based. The actors I enjoyed and the look of the film and the special effects all were entertaining and drew me in. The story fell short, as well as fell apart, in the 3rd act. There’s a scene early on where Morgan is in the forest and sees a deer that is dying because it was impaled by a tree branch. She kills the deer. This is only important because near the end of the movie the character that is chasing her, trying to kill her, also becomes impaled on a tree branch.  Unlike the deer however Morgan doesn’t kill the lady chasing her. So I guess that deer scene wasn’t important because if it was, the tension building towards that ladies death would’ve been completed with her death by Morgans hands. Follow the story telling logic, deer is impaled Morgan kills dear. Lady chasing Morgan trying to kill her is impaled, we as the audience just saw Morgan kill the deer so our tension builds because Morgan should be killing the lady and a surprise character will be responsible for killing Morgan or letting her escape. Either way, the lady chasing Morgan should die because that’s what the deer scene was foreshadowing! 

There’s more to the ending that I won’t spoil because while I hated the third act of this film I’m sure some people might enjoy it and I don’t want to take away the shock value that the film tried to create at the very end. The very end, by the way, also frustrated me. There is almost zero acknowledgement in this film that the ending would be possible. After the final scene I did say out loud in the theater, “Oh come on!” because it was so ridiculous. I get surprise endings where we as the audience are shocked or stunned but there’s usually some ground work laid in the film prior to that “WHOA!” moment at the end which makes that scene more impactful and believable. The only build up I recall is one scene where Morgan is looking at the top of her hands and then the palms of her hands but that’s not enough to build an ending off of. If you look down for popcorn or yawn (which is possible in the third act) you’ll miss it and then the ending makes even less sense.

“Morgan” is in theaters now. If you like science fiction horror than the first two acts you’ll enjoy and whether or not the third act is enjoyable will entirely be up to you. If you enjoyed the film comment below and please explain why. I’d love to read why someone enjoyed this movie as a complete film. Maybe you’ll change my mind and I’ll go back and revisit it. Maybe you won’t. Either way let me know. 

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Hank Boyd is Dead - Indie Film Review

I received an email asking me to considering reviewing this Horror/Comedy. After reading the entire email, looking over the credits on IMDB and watching the trailer I decided to watch the film and review it here. I wasn’t sure what to expect because I am not familiar with writer/director Sean Melia. So, let’s dive in and take a look at my thoughts on “Hank Boyd Is Dead” in this Indie review…

First we can start with the story. A suspected killer has died and a catering service is hired to feed the folks attending the post funeral gathering. Things immediately don’t go as planned as one of the two caterers has to leave. The remaining caterer, played by Stefanie Frame, has to deal with the bizarre family, their questionable past and dangerous future.  Stefanie is an actress I wasn’t familiar with at all but she performed panic, fear, distress and confused all quite well. Overall, I found myself enjoying the story after I was able to get a feel for the tone of the film and the writing style. At first I wasn’t quite certain where the jokes were but that was only because I wasn’t familiar with Melia’s writing. Once I get a sense for his style I found myself enjoying some laughs at seemingly appropriate and (because of my own sense of humor) inappropriate places. The horror aspects of the story were also well done. The suspenseful twists towards the end did in fact surprise me. The story plays out similar to that of a Greek Tragedy and I was, by the end of the film, quite happy I made the decision to spend some time watching this movie.

The characters in this film also were quite different from each other. The initial introduction to one of the characters felt odd but that was only because I wasn’t familiar with the writing style. After a few lines of dialogue it was clear that Michael Hogan was going to be comedic relief. So as the film progressed it was quite surprising to see how his character developed. The character David Wells played also started off feeling a bit two dimensional and forced however by the end of the film I was on board, entirely. His character develops nicely as the movie progresses and the levels his character will go to for his family is truly terrifying and creepy. 

All in all, "Hank Boyd Is Dead" starts off a bit odd but again I feel that is only because I was unfamiliar with how Sean writes film. If the movie didn’t progress as well as it does I probably would be feeling differently. The movie ends well and it’s quite surprising once we get to the third act. The entire story falls into chaos and it’s thrilling to watch. I really enjoyed the characters, the story was paced pretty evenly and the tension builds from start to finish until the film finally ends and we’re left to consider the events that just took place on screen. I recommend giving this film a viewing. You can find it on Amazon and if you enjoy Horror/Comedy indie films I think you’ll appreciate this story. 

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The Binge Watcher Review: Hansel Vs. Gretel (2015)

Hansel Vs. Gretel (2015)

Starring:

Brent Lydic, Lili Baross, Aqueela Zoll, Jhey Castles, Riley Murphy, Nanrisa Lee, Fawn Stone, Elisha Kriis

Synopsis:

When Gretel falls under a dark spell and organizes a coven of witches, Hansel must find the courage to fight his twin sister and the sinister forces controlling her.

The Good:

This was a fun premise, turning Gretel evil and having her face off against her brother. This movie works, it uses just the right amount of CGI to make it fun but not ridiculous. The acting wasn’t horrible which makes it that much better.

The Bad:

Well this is a B-Movie and with it comes ridiculous scripts. 

Final Thoughts:

If you need a cheesy group movie night film, look no further than Asylum Production. They have the best of the B-movies.

Hansel vs Gretel is a new twist on an old fairy tale. This movie takes place in the modern world and what better way for a movie like this to get attention than to cast the majority of the witches with beautiful women.

At the end of the day this is a cheesy movie, its definitely worth a watch whether if its a Date Night at home or a Bad Movie Night with friends. Just don't expect a master piece, there is a reason this was a straight to DVD Movie.

Let us know what your thoughts of the movie are and leave your comments below.

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The Binge Watcher Review: Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon (2006)

Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

Starring: 

Nathan Baesel, Angela Goethais, Robert Englund, Scott Wilson, Kate Miner, Bridgett Newton

Synopsis: 

The next great psycho horror slasher has given a documentary crew exclusive access to his life as he plans his reign of terror over the sleepy town of Glen Echo, all the while deconstructing the conventions and archetypes of the horror genre for them.

The Good:

A new take on the psycho horror slasher film, Behind The Mask takes look a the genre from the point of view of a documentary. From the beginning of the film you are show the trade secrets of a psychotic mad man. The film starts light hearted, as he takes the film crew through his training regimen. But by the end of the film, you are now in a slasher flick.

The Bad:

A definite low budget film, film quality isn’t at its best which is why the film was shot as a documentary style movie.

Final Thoughts:

I loved this movie, yes its a low budget film but in every aspect of the movie the creative team and actors pulled of something special. The concept of this film was great. It didn’t shy away from any of the great slasher flicks, it pay homage to those film and treats it as if it was in the same world of as those slashers. Plus we get the great Robert Englund.

My favorite part had to be the beginning, showing insight into the thought process of a psycho. The picking of the final girl, how she had to be a virgin to make this work. The Cardio needed to give off the ability to be in multiple places, and that creepy walk which somehow allows the villain to catch the group they are hunting, and finally the set up of the kill sight. The film itself give a flawless change from documentary film into the the closing act which was an actual slasher movie.

This was a perfect movie and must scene for a movie night with friends. The best part, they are currently in the planning phase for what looks like a prequel. Have you seen Behind the mask? what where your thoughts of this movie? Let us know and leave your comments below.

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Comic Book Review: Constantine the Hellblazer #10 - DC Comics (2016)

"Rave Un2 the Joy Fantastic"

Written by Ming Doyle & James Tynion IV
Pencils by Travel Foreman
Inks by Joseph Silver
Colors by Ivan Plascencia

John Constantine is in a place worse than Hell; Faerie.  He needs to escape this land and get back to Earth-world in order to stop the demon Neron from destroying humanity.

Ten issues in and this has been a fun ride.  Constantine has been everywhere and he's had to use his wits, along with snarky replies, to get through all of the awful situations he finds him in.  I like when art imitates life, as the evil demon Neron, with his terrible hair and all wishes to "Make Hell Great Again."

I am also a fan of John Constantine's inability to have a relationship due to his lifestyle.  More accurately, I like how this comic series shows what a detriment to others it can be to be involved in Constantine's life.  The tragedy of the story is incredibly compelling as Constantine has a charisma to him, but he can be downright despicable toward people and it's mainly because he needs to be for their safety.

Travel Foreman is in charge of pencils for this issue which definitely works, especially in the realm of Faerie.  Constantine the Hellblazer is an absolute incredible value with excellent writing, wonderful artwork and a price tag of only $2.99.

What are your thoughts on Constantine the Hellblazer?  What other comic books would you like Maskerpiece Theatre to review?  Please comment in the section below.

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The Witch - Box Office Review

If you follow movies you know that January and February are the dumping grounds for garbage films. Occasionally there comes a film that was placed in the season of wasteland cinema for curious reasons because it actually was enjoyable and well done. As I do, I went to the theater with hopes of seeing an entertaining film. The three options I haven't seen yet that I was curious to see were not well received by both critics and users on Rotten Tomatoes. However, "The Witch" was at least well received by critics and so I decided that would be the film for this weeks box office review. 

This film was described by most to be a horror film. I found that description to be inaccurate. It felt more like a suspenseful drama that eventually turns into absurdity. The pacing of this film was incredibly slow but I held out until the end hoping for some sort of payoff. After all, I spent an hour and a half in the theater so it only made sense that I would hope for something of substance. I received nothing. In retrospect, I can see what they were going for but it didn't work. It was boring.

The actors did well in their specific roles. There were even charming moments between the children that are universal between siblings. So, for that the film wasn't a complete waste of time. Unfortunately, there wasn't much more than that. I could see how the witches of the woods had chosen a new witch and how the story played out for that purpose. I could even see the purpose of the animals on the farm and how they eventually connected to the purpose of the ending. The issue was that the film felt like it was 3 hours long and the ending was a departure from the world the film created and quite bizarre.

"The Witch" is in theaters now. I can't recommend this film to even people who like the horror genre because there wasn't horror specific items to build on. It felt like the film was supposed to be one thing but somehow the communication broke down and what was left was all we got. If you wait for it to arrive on Redbox you might enjoy some of the characters and the tone of the film but beyond that I don't see much substance. It's slow, the end is weird, there isn't a payoff but you do get to see the characters descent into madness. They do act their parts well and watching characters go insane can be entertaining from time to time.

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Movie Review: Krampus (2015)

Before watching The League on FX, I had never heard of Krampus.  But after hearing Jon LaJoie's character Taco singing Krampus carols and running around the mall chasing children as the fabled devil beast, I knew we needed a movie.

The previews for this film made Krampus look like a fun horror film.  The movie is also rated PG-13 so I figured this would make for a fun daddy/daughter day on Christmas Eve.  With everything being Star Wars at the movie theaters, it wasn't hard to find a seat.  The theater was actually empty until a couple of minutes into the film.

The two of us had a great time watching Krampus.  It was a fun horror film that included some recognizable stars along with some new faces.  Prior to seeing Adam Scott cast in this film, I was wondering what direction the film would go.  I was glad to see there was a level of humor to go along with scary parts.

Krampus doesn't travel alone and his helpers made this movie even more insanely fun.  Demented clown looking beasts, psychotic ginger bread men and evil elves assisted Krampus against the family that were not in the Christmas spirit.

Emjay Anthony was the real star of this movie as he was the one who started out with the most amount of Christmas spirit.  As more family members showed up to the home, his spirit becomes broken and a great storm comes along.  This is where things go downhill for all of them.


Although not a huge cast, every member of the cast mattered in their own way for Krampus.  Michael Dougherty did well directing the film and giving screen time to each actor.  Adam Scott and Toni Collette played the parts of parents to Emjay Anthony and Stefania LaVie Owen's characters.  David Koechner and Allison Tolman's redneck-type characters brought along their children and surprise everyone with Aunt Dorothy played by Conchata Ferrell.

While I said Emjay Anthony was the star, it is because of his interactions with Krista Stadler as his grandmother.  She is well aware of Krampus as you can tell by the way she talks in trailer for the film.  She gives us backstory to Krampus which is told through an animated flashback, which seems to be the way you do flashbacks nowadays.

If you're looking for some scary holiday fun, give Krampus a shot.  I know it's not Gremlins, but it's worth checking out.  I'll give Krampus three and a half out of five pile drivers.

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Movie Review: The Lazarus Effect (2015)

David Gelb directs this film about medical students who have found a way to bring the dead back to life.  This isn't a zombie film like Re-Animator since the dead come back fully functional, or so it seems.

The Lazarus formula had been in development for quite some time when there is finally a breakthrough in their testing.  Animals were the first subjects and when it finally worked, the results came as quite a surprise.  The formula not only brings the dog Rocky back to life there seem to be some unexpected side effects.  The Lazarus formula is put to the test later in the film when an unfortunate accident puts a friend in death's way.

Dream sequences lead you into a backstory that helps put the film together and expound on the motivation behind Olivia Wilde's character Zoe.  The limited amount of people in the cast really helps this movie as, with only an hour and twenty three minutes of run time, you have just enough time to get who they are and why they are important in their respective roles.

Overall, The Lazarus Effect is an enjoyable film.  The build-up was done well and the action goes right up through to the end.  Starring Mark Duplass, Olivia Wilde, Evan Peters, Sarah Bolger and Donald Glover.  If you're in the mood for horror, this isn't a bad flick garnering 3 out of 5 Pile Drivers.

This blog came from an earlier post on Cinema Head Cheese and you can read more of my movie reviews there.

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A New Years Message From Handsome J...

The year is almost over and what an enjoyable film reviewing ride it has been. So many terrific movies this year and a few duds. I’d argue that 2015 produced a majority of entertaining films. I didn’t start writing reviews for this website until about four months ago which leaves so many other films unaccounted for. This is in no way an indication they aren’t worth seeing. They are, I just wasn’t writing about them at the time. 

Below is a list of films that came out in 2015 and are ready for you to read, if you are so inclined. Each of the movies I saw in theaters and decided to write about for you. The goal is to provide you insight that might help you decide which films are worth your hard earned dollars and which can wait for Redbox. Additionally, I try to keep each review near 500 words. I do this specifically to ensure you have time to read them without it taking up no more than perhaps 5 minutes. I understand that all film is subjective, just like all art, but it’s my hope that you read these and appreciate the perspective I provide.

The Man from U.N.C.L.E, End of the Tour, Hitman Agent 47, Ant-Man, Black Mass, The Intern, The Visit, Sicario, Bridge of Spies, Hotel Transylvania, Crimson Peak, The Martian, Our Brand is Crisis, Spectre, Trumbo, The Peanuts Movie, The Night Before, Secret In Their Eyes, Creed, Krampus, Macbeth, Legend, The Good Dinosaur, Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Sisters, The Big Short

2016 is almost here, possibly has arrived when you read this, and I’m excited about what Hollywood is distributing. Below are a few films I’m looking forward to in 2016 and I hope you have films you are excited to see as well! 

The Nice Guys, Captain America Civil War, Batman VS Superman, Deadpool, GhostBusters, X-Men Apocalypse, Dirty Grandpa, Kung Fu Panda 3, Assassins Creed, Zootopia, Star Trek Beyond, Rogue 1, Alice Through the Looking Glass, Suicide Squad, Jungle Book, Hail Caesar, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Zoolander 2, Barbershop the Next Cut, and my most anticipated film of 2016 is Doctor Strange. 

I hope you all continue to tell your friends and family what you enjoy here with Maskerpiece Theatre. Thank you again for your support folks. Here’s to 2016, being a movie junkie and reviewing film!

Cheers,

Handsome J

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Krampus: Box Office Review

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not lose all hope in Christmas and then summon an evil Christmas demon to your house for the holiday. Krampus is a B rated horror/comedy of a good time. This film felt like director Michael Dougherty decided he will make a potential cult classic and I think he succeeded. This film is so outrageous and it is aware of that. If you desire to see a holiday movie that breaks away from the standard Christmas family experience then this is a film for you.

The plot is simple enough, a boy has a bad christmas experience and then mistakenly summons Krampus, who terrorizes the family and neighborhood. The story doesn't really get any more involved than that. It's a simple story with similar execution but it's entertaining. This is a dark comedy/horror and it's important that you know that before watching the film. If you expect this to be just a scary movie you might miss some of the jokes, spoken and situational. There's plenty of laughs if you know that jokes are happening intentionally. 

Adam Scott and David Koerchner deliver great performances considering the type of movie this is. When snow piles are attacking you and you have a shot gun, I expect certain expressions and Adam Scott gave them. When Gingerbread Men are shooting at you with a nail gun and trying to stab you, I expect certain reactions and David Koerchner made it work. The supporting cast was equally talented and entertaining. 

Curiously, the most believable character on screen is the mysterious German grandmother who speaks German but understands English. This role was fantastically acted out by Krista Stadler. Her facial expressions took the elements of fear and concern and elevated the overall enjoyment of this film. If not for her, I doubt the moments that were meant to be scary or threatening would've felt cheesy and forced. Her performance pulls me into the film for brief moments and it was worth it. 

The minions that accompany Krampus are simply out of control and Tim Burton-esqueue. These supporting characters provided some hilarious moments that are always present in cult classics. Such a fun time on screen terrorizing the family and the dog. 

“Krampus” is in theaters now! I give this film all the candy canes and Christmas cookies because it doesn't pretend to be something it's not. The ending was a pleasant surprise that I wasn't expecting and overall the film was entertaining and enjoyable. If you only see 1 or 2 movies a month I'd recommend you consider this for Redbox rental night. It's fun but it's limited in scope for who might be their target audience. 

Comment below if you’ve already seen it and share your thoughts! Join in on the fun of movie watching and share this post with anyone who you feel would enjoy another one of my Box Office Reviews.

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Box Office Review: Goosebumps

 A good friend, who chats, texts and emails movie reviews and news with me, sent me his review for the new "Goosebumps" film starring Jack Black. I trust you'll enjoy his review as much as I enjoyed reading it. Ladies and Gentlemen, a Maskerpiece Theatre guest writer, Alec the Great and his "Goosebumps" Box Office Review!

Be sure to comment below and share your thoughts. 

A Goosebumps movie in late October…and it stars Jack Black…Can’t miss, right? Well, sort of.  This movie has a lot going for it.  Creature effects by the very talented Fazil Ahmed (Guardians of the Galaxy and Dracula Untold) and direction by Rob Letterman (Gulliver’s Travels and Monsters vs. Aliens) I should have loved this movie, but I left the theatre feeling…well, not much.  It was intense and exciting.  It was decently acted by all parties.  Jack Black, of Tenacious D, plays a reclusive R. L. Stine (as well as voice acting a couple of monsters).  Perhaps the issue is that I walked in with high hopes.

The concept of the film is similar to another film I really enjoyed, Inkheart.  An author’s characters and creations, literally fly off the page and take on lives of their own.  Here, let me explain it, no there is too much, let me sum up.  R. L. Stine (Jack Black) is living a quiet life in a small town with his daughter (Odeya Rush).  A young high-schooler (Dylan Minenette) moves next door with his mother, who just got a job at the local high school (the one the boy attends, oh the high school embarrassment) and on his first day he meets a Fogel-esque (yes I just made up a word referencing Superbad) friend (Ryan Lee), who in his own cowardly way worms his way into the movie with some pretty impressive, girlish shrieking. Boy meets Girl, and monster-based hijinks ensue.

First off, I will admit that my only experience to the Goosebumps books was reading them as a teenage camp counselor to my campers at summer camp, so my knowledge of the Goosebumps Cannon is not prolific.  I was not geeking out to see creatures I had only read spooky stories about brought to magnificent life on the big screen.  I was excited based on the previews, which, from my perspective, demonstrated a Jack Black portrayal of R. L. Stine that in Pied Piper fashion, lead the three Children on a Willy Wonkian tale of pure imagination.  That was not the Jack Black that I witnessed.  He was a semi-reserved eccentric, but never wacky, lonely man who simply wanted to rationally deal with an irrational problem and keep the children safe.  He was excitable, but frankly, I expected School of Rock Jack Black and I got Professor Jack Black, Esquire.  That said, the children were fantastic and these young actors did an amazing job bringing reality to an insane situation.  They were quirky, but believable.  Future big-named stars the lot of them if there is any justice.

I had high expectations, but in the end, it was an hour and forty-three minutes of movie.  It was entertaining, but not great, and it looked great.  I wanted to be able to tell people, “You have to see this movie!”  Alas, the best I can bring myself to is, “Meh.”  I give it one ghoul and one giant mutant praying mantis.  If you are an avid Goosebumps fan, go see this movie, if not, go see Hotel Transylvania 2: You will laugh more, have more quotables after-the-fact, and generally, a better experience.

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Box Office Review: Crimson Peak

When the director is Guillermo del Toro and the stars are Tom Hiddleston and Mia Wasikowska it's not at all odd to expect a quality cinematic adventure. Guillermo has a style that is completely unique for making movies. The color schemes are usually rich and the special effects are mesmerizing. He is truly a gifted individual when it comes to making film for the masses. On the other hand, his weakness is most often in dialogue and story. This is one area where he has an opportunity for improvement. 

"Crimson Peak" is no exception.

This movie had several wonderful moments but there were issues that reveal themselves later on in the film. The story felt choppy and several moments of concentrated screen time turned out to be a red herring once the 3rd act began. The audience was pulled in by the actors delivering their lines quite well and then it's discovered those lines weren't necessary for the actual plot. This was disheartening but not surprising. As early stated, dialogue in story telling is not del Toro's strongest talent.

Furthering the bizarre choice of what's important and whats a red herring we have Charlie Hunnam's character. It is no secret his role is important to the story because of the amount of screen time he enjoys. There is confusion regarding the reasons for why he is so hell bent on the decisions and actions he makes. A basic concept of his character seems to be all the writers decided was necessary for this movie which was confusing when his character has very important moments in the film. The writing staff certainly could've fleshed out his character more and made him fuller and more 3 dimensional.

Overall the actors each did a fine job playing their parts. This film was entertaining and certainly more dramatic than terrifying. In fact, there are more elements of romance than horror. This point is even spelled out for the audience early in the film with dialogue that expresses romance as a natural way to entice people to a specific story. However, that's where the clever writing ends, unfortunately. If the goal is to see a horror film this wouldn't be one that should be considered. If the goal, however, is to see a dramatic film with horror elements within it, then a ticket purchase would be appropriate. Guillermo does an incredible job with the special effects and the lighting and shadows throughout the entire film. It's worth the cost of a ticket just to experience his visual effects on the big screen. A matinee ticket which is cheaper would probably be the better choice though if the decision is made to see this film while in theaters.

"Crimson Peak" is in theaters now! I give this film 3 ghouls and goblins out of 5 since it's almost Halloween. It's spooky but more Disney's Haunted Mansion spooky. Stay calm, there are no singing ghosts but there are ghosts who apparently require a bath... you'll understand when you see it.

Comment below if you’ve already seen it and share your thoughts! Join in on the fun of movie watching and be sure to share this post with anyone who you feel would enjoy another Box Office Review.

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Box Office Review: The Visit

Writer and director M. Night Shyamalan brings us "The Visit" which is his 11th film as a director of the horror meets bizarre style that only he can deliver. He made this film with Blumhouse, a smaller independent film company, who specialize in horror. It was a step in a new direction as Shyamalan usually is connected with big production companies with incredible budgets. M. Night working with an independent company was intriguing considering smaller budgets can lend themselves to more creative storytelling with this particular genre of film, unfortunately, it didn't feel as creative as the potential led me to believe it would be.

Two kids take a vacation to their grandparents house and decide to document the entire trip using their cameras and creativity. Shortly after arriving they come to realize that things at the house aren't as normal as they would prefer and danger ensues.

This film is shot "found footage" style and that didn't really help it at all. The story was choppy, as one would expect from found footage, but it never seemed to connect plot points and often left other plot points unexplained. The premise that after 930pm you aren't allowed out of your rooms is explained because the grandmother, played by Deanna Dunagan, acts like an overly drunk home repair specialist sanding a door, throwing up in the kitchen and scrubbing the floors on all fours while running into walls. This is all fine except for the fact she acts like the Hansel and Gretel witch before 930 at one point and also chases the kids under the house acting just as psychotic, again before sunset. For whatever reason it's revealed that she doesn't wear underpants, much to the disgust of myself since I, literally, was the only person in the theater when I saw this.

The grandfather, played by Peter McRobbie, has his own singularly bizarre habit of shitting himself and throwing the diapers away in a shed out in the yard, where he seemingly collects them for the reason of... being able to refer to his shed as a shitty shed? Your guess is as good as mine. I found no reason for this in the story except for near the very end he takes a diaper he just shit in and rubs it in his grandsons face, played by Ed Oxenbould.

The mother, played by Kathryn Hahn, is having a video chat with the kids at the peak of weirdness towards the very end of the film where it's revealed the grandparents aren't actually the grandparents but strangers the mother doesn't know. So after this week of being at the grandparents house we discover these aren't the grandparents... REALY?!?! I found this incredibly difficult to believe considering grandparents usually write letters and mail photographs each holiday. The idea the kids haven't seen the grandparents in person in awhile is believable. However... NOT KNOWING WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE AT ALL is beyond ridiculous and was the moment that the theater was filled with laughter, my laughter. After all, I was the only person in the theater.

I don't recommend this film to anyone and if the film appears on television I recommend you watch a dvd or blu-ray or youtube or play a game or read a book or clean your bathroom. All of these activities are better than wasting your time with this movie.

I give it nothing more than a scathing review. What a piece of garbage.

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